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Motivating Music Students Part 4: Students That Say No

Do you have students who, when you say “Practice these exercises this week”, say in return, “No”? Who say, “I don’t like those songs. I want to do this one instead”? Or students who were given one assignment and come back the next week having practiced a completely different song of their preference?

“Rebellious”, "stubborn", or "defiant" may be words that come to mind. But what about “independent”?

I admit, that change in mindset was difficult for me at first with the amount of frustration that was mounting from these students. Were they trying to test me? I was torn between my belief that students should enjoy what they play and having to put my foot down as a teacher. Most of the time, I would tell them that they had to do what I assigned first to get to the piece they wanted to do (usually a song a little further into the book). But progress during those weeks was stagnant. There had to be a better way!

As the 4th installment in our "What Motivates Your Students" series, we will discuss these students - those motivated by power or independence.

Who responds to Power / Independence?

Power-motivated students have their own ideas on how to do or achieve something. They would rather know what the goal is and why, but not necessarily the how. At least, not at first. It's not so much that they don't like your way; they want to try it their way first. You can recognize these types of students by how they respond to instructions. Initially they may accept your instructions but increasingly they start to pull away toward their own path. They may also respond less to social or extrinsic motivations. However, if you can align your approach with theirs and figure out how to guide their focus, they can turn out to be your superstars.

Tips for connecting with independent students

Understand

So maybe the student has their own ideas of how they want to progress. Maybe they resist your typical teaching path and want to just play songs they like. And you know what? As long as they are not unmotivated and are still interested in learning, I think this mindset is better than those who sit, listen, and do exactly as they’re told. Why? Because music is about creativity. Children who are thinking about what you assign and what they would prefer to do instead are actually thinking more about the assignment than a student who always blindly agrees and follows instructions. Because of this, you're going to have to put more thought into how to teach them. In a way, since they won’t follow you, you must learn to walk alongside them as a guide instead. Understand that you can show them the goal and how to get there, but respect that they may have other preferences.

Be flexible

It’s natural that you, as a teacher, want to have more control over how the student learns. But you can’t be butting heads the whole way - that’s just counterproductive. And younger students may not have the mental maturity required to be the first to step down for the greater good of their music education. So, be ready to take on challenges. Accept that as individuals, each student is and will be different, and may therefore need drastically different paths for best improvement.

Meet them halfway

You don’t have to give in to the student’s demands, nor do you have to force them to go your way. Find a way to do a bit of both. In other words, communicate and align. Listen as much as you speak and develop shared goals. Ask for their input more than you normally would. They may not know where they want to go (as they may not know enough to), but they feel like they do. So even if the goal is a slight deviation, go with it and find an opportunity later to redirect things forward through choices. At the same time, share what you want to do and more importantly why.

How can we do this?

Choosing their schedule

I have a student who likes to jump ahead in the book and just play his favorite tunes - but I needed him to go through all of them for lesson purposes! He would come back most weeks having practiced some other song in the book that he found he liked more (he was a great sight-reader, which probably allowed him to do this). Then, when I went back to the song he had not practiced, he would drag his feet and complain and say "No". Of course, the problem was not that he found it difficult (as he had already read ahead), he simply did not want to follow this cookie-cutter path. So, I did something very simple. I took the next three songs in the book and told him he could choose what order to learn them in. Suddenly, all of the fuss and resistance was gone. By doing this, he'd be expecting those less preferred songs and knew that he chose to put them there in the timeline, so there was no fight. He would say “Aw, man. This song...”, but come back next week with the piece prepared, excited to move on! Just the fact that he was able to dictate when he would learn a piece makes him feel a little more in control.

Choosing their pieces

Another way to give students more power is to let them choose what they want to learn. But - here’s the catch - you provide the choices. Have a couple songs available that would fit into their lesson plan and let them hear each one and choose which to learn. My teacher would do this for me as I got more advanced. She would bring in about 3 pieces and play a good portion of each from iTunes or YouTube, and let me choose which to learn next. Just the fact that I could choose got me really excited to learn the piece.

Creating their own path

For things like warmups (I used Hanon), she would tell me to go home and choose any 3 to practice for the week, then have them ready to show her next lesson. If they were played well, we’d cross them off and I’d choose another three. This was great because I would actually go through the book and play through a bunch before settling on the three I would practice - so I actually did more work than if she had simply assigned three from the start! And, since that book progresses in difficulty, there wasn’t too much jumping around. We eventually got through that whole book and it was absolutely painless.

Remember, these students thrive when you allow them to exercise independence and some control in what they play. Not everyone will follow one path. The best thinkers are divergent thinkers, and people who know what they like. Don’t suppress this kind of thinking by making them follow a method page by page, note for note. All of this can be achieved, but in a less obvious path that you will have to work with the student to figure out. Be a firm, guiding hand in this student’s musical journey. When both sides (teacher and student) feel that one respects the other’s choices, opportunities for a more harmonious relationship and easy progress inevitably lead the way.


At some point, we want all students to feel this same empowerment. It is only then that they take ownership over their music development. With Better Practice, students are empowered to customize their practice experience. They can self-assign pieces, add in external aids to help themselves practice better, and more. We also encourage their creative independence as well. To make all of your students just as bossy, try Better Practice.